When life hands you lemons . . . . . .

When life hands you lemons. . . . . you make lemonade . . . . . and you add a splash of vodka to it!

Well, am i here to rant, praise, emote, laugh, talk or listen? Am i here to support, deny, acknowledge or accept? Am I a person who loves, hates, annoys, pities and energizes? I am me, and I am all of the above.

Some days I am lemon, some days lemonade and some days the Vodka (but we won't discuss Friday night and grey goose lol).

I piss people off and i make people laugh; i hold people when they cry, i push them away when they complain . . . . i am LEO and slightly an A type personality. That can be a lethal combination. But those that love me take me for who I am, and those that don't take me for who I am - see ya!

Everyone is on eggshells at work; rumours are flying around about the BMX situations; friendships formed only months ago are ending; i can feel some walls coming up around friends and their friends.

I cannot wait for the summer, but love the storms of spring; I cannot wait for my vacation; but am struggling to get the money together (yeah I know, I though I had 3 months and I only have 1 to save for the cottage!). I love my children very much; but at times they frustrate me - they both took a turn at that this week. I love my friends; but sometimes bite my tongue, when i should really say what is on my mind.

I really want to state my points of view; but don't want to get involved - not my problem anymore. I want to shake some people; but dont want to start a war. I want to stand up at work and say we need to stand strong; but don't want to be labelled the rebellious leader!

So, today I have decided I am the vodka! I cannot fix things past, I cannot rebuild some badly broken bridges; I cannot forgive harsh words right now; I cannot change who I am. But I will add some zing to it all, I will stand tall, battle for what is right, and help when asked. Because I am a better person than those that throw the stones.

Life is a gift, enjoy that gift everyday.

To my son Kyle, with love

My big boy, my pride and joy (one of them anyways), my fun loving, smiling, pleasant, huggable baby.

Someone told me last night that it was time for you to make a decision on where you wanted to go in your life, and what you wanted to do. I answered back that it is your life, and if you are happy sweeping streets, or fixing cars, or making millions - no matter what you decided to do with your lift - if it made you happy, that is what counts.

You and I have spent hours and hours in cars and on planes just talking, sharing and laughing. We have a relationship that i love, and i miss those times. As you grow up, you grow away. We dont get those times as much anymore, you are with your friends, out in your car, working hard and playing safe.

But that said, i found this poem that sums it all up for me. I love you Kyle and am proud to be your mummy.

as your mother I want what's best for you
and want to see good in all that you do
I would like you to take this advice and understand
that even though you are now a man
in life you have to make a plan
I would like for you to sit and decide
who you really are inside
I want you to ask yourself - "where do I plan to be a few years from now?"
and then make that plan to do it somehow
this question you may have to toss around in your mind
as it may take you sometime
for you to feel the answer you want to find
this answer should come from your heart
family and friends should take no part
they should not influence you in anyway
then your life as you know it will be taken away
I want you to be true to yourself
and I will be there "only to guide you" if you need any help
always remember that life is what "you" make it
so please do not forsake it
and when the answer comes
and you know who "you" are and what person "you" want to become
I will stand by your side
on whatever you decide
all this is important for you to understand
as your life has just began
and if you never take my advice again
let it be known......
"life can never go wrong....when you are a man of your own"

A week of ups and downs . . . .

Wow, now that was a week . . . .

I think every emotion a human can feel, i felt. I felt anger, humiliation, deflation, emptiness, fear, sadness, ignorance, happiness, nervousness, elation and love.

A week of fighting untrue comments, a week of dealing of putting out fires at work, and in my past work life, a week of realizing who my true friends are, and who the people are that will no longer be in mine, or my families lives.

I wont go into details, but suffice it to say that I needed some love and laughter LOL. And I got that tonight.

Tonight was my youngest nephews 7th birthday. 7 years ago today i was by my sisters side as she gave birth prematurely to Logan Kain O'Dor. Born at 32 weeks and only 16 inches long, i knew from the moment i saw him that this boy would bring undying love to his mothers life. He struggled the first few days with underdeveloped lungs, bright red skin, and feeding issues. But you could see Linzi just become stronger with every roadblock they hit. She stepped up to the plate. Linzi is at her strongest when there is crisis, and her strength came out in leaps and bounds over the first few weeks.

Logan is a unique young man. He has his own way of looking at life, and will chat your ear off once he gets to know you. His older brother Chase, is an amazing mentor and role model for Logan - he is patient, kind, and understanding of Logan's issues - he at times has to walk away, but Logan will follow him everywhere, and Chase is Logan's hero. They have a wonderful relationship.

So tonight our family got together to celebrate our Logie. Our little Indigo child who brings such joy to our lives. Nanna, poppa, cousins Kyle and Brady, Brittany and Auntie Nicky and Uncle Dean all shared burgers and frozen ice cream cake together. I don't think we finished one story we started, i just know that we laughed and talked for hours.

And this weekend is looking like a great one, dinner with peeps Friday, girls night Saturday, and dinner with more peeps on Sunday . . . . . during times like I have had during the past week or so, these moments are the most important and energizing for me.

This week is a week i never want to go through again, the true colours of people came shining through. People i had trusted, supported, fought for and worked with . . . but they are now out of my life, and i am thankful for the times coming up this weekend.

So to those now gone from my life . . . see ya! for those i love, thank you! for my little Logie, i love you buddy, and you will overcome those milestones, you will succeed with your mummy right by your side. Chase O, keep being that awesome big brother. Love you all.