You give them wings to let them fly . . . .

You give them wings so they learn to fly,
you give them courage
you give them the tools to take on the world
you give them the strength to stand tall.

You give them the love they need to get through everyday,
you give them support in their good and bad times,
you give them hope when all seems too hard
and you give them the freedom to make their own decisions.

And those wings, and that freedom, will sometimes take them away from you . . . . . by their own choice. My baby is planning to enter the Canadian Armed Forces . . . and he seems to have a spring in his step since he has made this decision. He is looking at it in many different ways, and has spent a year weighing his options. He wants the discipline, he wants the education, he wants the ability to learn, he wants to be an officer in charge of Special Ops, he wants to be the officer that the troops will look up to.

He will excel, and once he goes in - he will go in for life. He will embrace and love it. He will succeed, he will be a leader. But no matter how successful i know he will be, the thought of not being able to just pick up the phone, not be able tuck him in (dont think they will let me in the barracks), get my daily hug, have to yell at him to get out of the shower or pick up his clothes, all these small things are going to be so sorely missed, and they will break my heart.

But then on the days he will come home, walk in the door as a strong young man, a young man that i know will love every minute of it, i will stand tall and hug him tight.

I am so very very proud of the man he has become. A man that knows what he wants in life, is strong in heart and mind, and dedicated to everything he commits to. He loves things being in order, clothes being cleaned and pressed, shoes being polished, hair being short . . . . . i should have realized long ago that this was going to be his destiny.

I am proud of you Brady, but at the same time my heart is a bit achy, the thought of not being only 10 minutes away from you is a hard pill to swallow, but i will support you baby - the whole way, you will feel mum and dad supporting you.

Wow, has it really been 25 years . . . .

Wow, April 1, 1986 I decided to go play volleyball in Milton with some friends. I had just recently come out of a 2 year relationship, but i was still young, only 20. So I was up for anything . . including playing volleyball with a bunch of friends. Well that night changed the rest of my life.

Just before the start of the game, i was introduced to a long haired, blue eyed, handsome man . . . . that was wearing an Ozzy Osbourne cut off shirt and cut off jeans . . . . first thought that came to my mind was 'stoner'. I could not have been more wrong. This young man made my heart skip a wee bit. His eyes took you right in, his smile made you melt, and he seemed like he was everyone's best friend. We chatted and laughed, and i think flirted a bit. And at the end of the night we went our separate ways, both promising to see each other the following week.

Little did I know that he went home that night and told his mum that he had just met the woman he was going to marry - and that would have been me!

Well, I didn't make it the next week, and apparently he kept watching the door in case i showed up. I was scared of the immediate feelings that I had for him - thought it was all about rebound. I think i deliberately didn't show up due to those feelings. But I managed to find out quite a lot about him during that week . . . i know that he worked really hard to help his mum out, that he never stayed behind after volleyball, or went for a beer to the Milton Optimist Club, cos he had to be at work at 5am.

So I show up the following Tuesday, and the moment i saw him my tummy flipped over. What the hell was this feeling? Why was i all tingly? So we laughed and talked all night, and then I asked him if he was going to come for a beer. Straight away he said yes, and we closed the joint . . .we were still sitting there talking at 1am in the morning (he had to go to work in 4 hours). I wrote my phone number on a matchbook, hoping and praying he would call me. I said, as a joke, that I wouldn't go out with him unless he got a hair cut (he looked like someone out of Iron Maiden). We said goodnight, and I think we both went home with smiles on our faces.

So that Thursday he calls me and asks me to go to his mums cottage for the weekend, he would pick me up after his hockey game at 11pm. Well of course I said yes. So he shows up at my door at 11pm, with a haircut that George Clooney would be proud of . . . . . i just knew the moment he stood there at my door that I was not going to let him leave my life. We went to the cottage, came back on the Sunday and he pretty much moved in right away, and we have been together ever since.

Why has our marriage lasted? I tell you why, because we talk, we laugh, we share, we listen, we have our own little idiosynchresies that we both love about each other, we drive each other nuts at time, we both value honesty and manners, we both love our families - and each others families, we both believe in hard work everyday, and we both believe that our family is the most important thing in our life.

So Deano, this is for you . . . .

With you by my side...
I have conquered my fears.

With you by my side...
I have let go of my sadness

With you by my side...
I can reach for the stars,

With you by my side...
My compassion flows

With you by my side...
nothing is unachievable

With you by my side...
Love seems easy.

With you by my side...
I can do anything I put my mind to.

With you by my side...
I am not afraid of my tears.

With you by my side...
I have had such a good life.

With you by my side...
Anything is possible.

Thank you for supporting me through my jobs; for telling me 'you can do it' when i went for the management job; for telling me I am beautiful, even when i am in my pjs after a long week; for rubbing my feet after a work weekend; for making my coffee on the weekend; for shovelling my car out; for encouraging my photography and genealogy; for telling me every day that you love me; for loving my family as you do yours; for being my little sisters perfect brother in law; for being the most amazing father i have ever seen; for being my best friend, my lover and my man - and most of all, i thank you for being you. I love you with all my heart. Thank you Dean for the best 25 years of my life, i could not imagine not having taken this journey without you by my side.

me - inspire? no you inspire me . . . .

I was chatting with a relative on the facebook chat today, and she told me she loves reading my blogs, and that i inspire her, that i am always happy, and that I am brilliant! Obviously she has been into the sauce LOL. she also wants me to write a book

But let me answer her back - I wont name names, but I will tell her exactly what I feel . . . . .

Always happy: ummmm no! I have my bad days, my good days, my happy days and my sad days - but i just dont let the sad and bad take over the good and happy. I am so lucky, I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and am surrounded by wonderful people. Two years ago I started to make a conscious decision to get rid of the toxic, negative people in my life. People that just love to complain, love to bitch, have to be pissed off at something all the time, suck the energy out of me . . . . and man, did it make a difference. It made me a different person - if they dont fit into my positive, light filled life - i dont need them, and send them packing.

Brilliant: ummmmm, No! LOL, i love to read, i keep up on current events, but I am by no means at all Brilliant. I am just finally comfortable enough with me now, that I am willing to take on a challenge, push myself to learn more, open up my life, heart and mind to alternative ideas. If all that makes me brilliant, then maybe I could one day be a genius.

Inspire - I wake up every day hoping that i can inspire someone, somehow in someway . . . however, i could not inspire others, if others did not inspire me. Let me tell how you how this woman has inspired me:

- went through the largest tragedy a parent can go through, the loss of a child. This lady hit rock bottom, yet pulled herself up, I can imagine that she wanted to take the place of her child - but she prevailed and moved forward, i am sure it was a slow, uphill, emotional trip but she continued to live and love her family. Any parent that can lift themselves out of bed in the morning, put a smile on their face - even 10 years later, or 15 years later, 0r 20 years laters, is an inspiration to me.
- made a home for her 'aging' (sorry G) mother, instead of leaving her to live alone in an apartment or seniors home. She made sure she was safe, warm, fed, loved, appreciated and close to her at all times. The circle of life, your mother raises and cares for you - and as your parents get older you return the favour. The love and caring that she shows for her mom is inspiring to me.
- is a support structure for her grandchildren. No matter what, no matter when, no matter how, she is there for her grandchildren. Having lost all my grandparents by the age of 5, the relationship i see between them all is wonderful, and empowering and I only hope the grandchildren will honour it for the rest of their lives!
- is just a damn nice person: always opening her door , always an invite for coffee/wine, always a kind word to say to me. When you empower others, you empower yourself. And empowerment provides inspiration.

so to that special lady who was on chat with me today . . . you know who you are, you know I appreciate you, you know I dont see you often enough!, you know I admire and honour you . . . . and that I am extremely proud to be part of your family. Love you W!

life is like a box of chocolates . . . .

Life is a never ending trip and journey, sometimes with surprises just around that curve in the tracks.

I have had an interesting last few weeks, the workload is overwhelming, the family life is so rewarding, the friendships are getting stronger and more intimate (not in that way!), the holiday plans are coming together . . . . and i played footie yesterday and am feeling the aches today!

Work - the season has started to register 10,000 referees, with 1500 of them forgetting their passwords, another 2500 of them mailing in their registrations - even though it is all online, and the rest of them just being silly - 400 emails a days, 50 calls and only 3 staff to handle it all have caused a huge backlog . . . .and raised the good old blood pressure a wee bit! But I know someone, a lady friend of mine that is an amazing administrative person, that i have now hired for a couple of months to help us get through this, and to also give her some spending money. We will car pool, laugh and chat the whole ride in and home, but I know that she will be reliable, responsible and damn productive - cant wait for Ginny to become a part of the OSA family - hopefully this will turn into something permanent for her!

The Fam is amazing - the youngest has been working for me and doing a grand job, and now that the sun is in the sky, the SAD seems to be slowly going away - he hates winter, and is a bear the whole time - rare to see him smile and laugh, but now that spring is on the doorstep his mood has improved. And i think that the fact he now has a plan in life, a plan that is a little hard to swallow - but I will support him every step of the way, now that he has the plan he seems to have a stronger stride, stand a little taller and be a little happier. The plan is to join the Canadian armed forces, and go through officer training - scary for us all, however, an honourable choice, and I am very proud of him for it. He also just saw his first modelling shots posted all over the ROM and inside, i think he was very proud.

The eldest is working hard, making a great impression with customers - so much so that they are handing him business cards and asking for his resume - he will do amazing in life, just needs to find the right fit for him - will probably take a couple of years, but when he is ready it will all happen. He works 6 days a week, and has never been late, or absent even when he was sick, and that I admire him for - a noble trait for a 19 year old.

Deano ,well what can I say about my Deano - April 1 we will have been together for 25 years! wow! a quarter of a century, and I still love him, miss him when he is not home, enjoy his company and think he is a wonderful partner to me, and father to our children. We are hoping to get a weekend away this summer, just the two of us . . .havent done that since we had kids!

Holiday - i am in the process of booking a cottage - i wish these people that listed cottages for rent would reply to emails - I am just thinking that they are on march break and will be back on Monday, so if i havent heard from them by Tuesday, I start pulling my hair out. We are torn between Bruce Peninsula, Muskoka or Kawartha - has to be withing 2 hours drive if possible as Kyle has to work on the Thursday and has to drive home the Wednesday night. This will be our first family week away in 6 or 7 years . . . and it may be a long time before we can do this again if Brady does get into the army. The boys are growing up, and I dont see them nearly as much as I would love to.

My friends are such an important factor in my life . . when i get bbms that say "just wanted to say Hi, I love you, and I cant wait for my Nicky fix", or, "you are sweet, thank you for you" it just makes all the problems in your life seem less negative. I am so lucky to be surrounded by women (and a few men) that have become my family . . . .I have inherited a new "brother from another mother", 5 new sisters, a few extra children and everyone of them is so important to me. How we have not been arrested yet I do not know!

I just wanted to say to everyone, with all the tragedy happening across the world right now, be thankful for the house you live in, the couch you sit on, the food you can purchase, the water you can drink, and the people that surround you . . . .life is too short - live each moment to the fullest, and with the ones you love. Tell your peeps just what they mean to you . . . share a moment with each of them . . . .