You often pinch yourself very hard; or wake up and think it is just a dream; or think you imagined it . . . . . and I still to that to this day. July 15, 2006 . . . . oh how I wish I could pinch myself really, really, really hard.
On that day, the life of my friend was taken away; the DaSilva family lost their son/brother/uncle/cousin; the life of my husband changed forever; we lost our Timmy.
I was recently asked to write something for the MBMX Website about Timmy, explaining the rock and the tree at the track on the first berm. And as I was writing it, I decided to re-read my eulogy to Tim. One that I had written sobbing over the paper; trying to decide what to say; how not to make people cry - but was it also right to make them smile? I hope that what I wrote let people know just what I thought of my "other son", how much I truly loved him. Yet my loss cannot even begin to compare to the DaSilva's loss - and I will never begin to imagine their pain. Yet they became very close friends as we fought those assholes at the N.E.C for a long time . . only to have those idiotic, old, stupid people make us tear down Timmy's track.
I have missed them a lot that last 2 years, as we each have to heal in our own way - and sometimes distance from those involved helps in the healing. I just hope that one day we can share a coffee and talk about Timmy again.
I could write pages about Timmy, but instead I will just post my eulogy, as it says a lot about the man he was.
July 18, 1996
Timmy DaSilva was not just a member of our BMX family -he had become part of the Pearson family.
I had spent more time with Timmy this past month that I have my own kids - Airdrie, Crabtree and the track build allowed Timmy and I to chat about all sorts of things, family, BMX, life, futures. On our drive to Kingston (en-route to Crabtree) Tim and I spoke of the things that were important to him - his chance to prove himself on the track at the Elite level - his chance to build a track based on his ideas and design - the respect he had for his family, his friends, and his huge love for his niece.
I had recently contacted the Milton Newspaper to do a story on Tim and his success at the UCI races - he made the mains in the toughest classes in Canada. When I told Timmy this, he grinned that wonderful grin and said “That’s cool – you know why - I have women of all ages walk up to me in stores and say ‘Hey. Don’t I know you?’, and I would thrust out my chest, stand tall, adjust my ball cap, put on a deep voice and say “Sure you do, I’m Timmy DaSilva – I was in the newspaper” and then he would wink, and walk away smiling. When he was telling me this story he was acting it out at the same time and he had Martin and me in stitches of laughter.
This past week in Halton I was absolutely impressed with Tim’s attitude, dedication, patience (especially when Martin was “instructing” him) and his desire to build the best track. A track that would help Ontario riders reach the podium - he never just thought about Tim, he made sure every jump was safe for the 5 year old, but challenging for the 15 year old and fun for the 25 year olds – it was always about everyone else.
Tim had the uncanny ability to laugh, listen and learn and tease at the same time, for instance, Martin had taken painstaking hours measuring and staking out the track so that it would be built to National specs - and Tim would watch him put in the last stake, wait until Martin was looking directly at him and would deliberately move or bend or push in the stakes, yell “Hey old man - look” and wheel away in his bobcat so Martin couldn’t catch him – all the while laughing loudly.
Another laugh was when Timmy was walking around shirtless (showing off his muscles – to whom I am not sure as it was all guys on the track) and you could see the top of his underwear. Well, Chris suddenly yelled across the width of the start hill “Tim! You’ve got my underwear on!” The reply Timmy gave made me smile wide - “No Chris! Mom just bought these for me!” I said “Timmy - did you just say your mom still buys you your underwear?” and Tim and Chris smiled and replied “Yea! She knows our size, we always buy the wrong size – and you know what Nicky, she still makes our doctor and dentist appointments too!” Well we all laughed and they both looked at me and said that they loved the fact that their mom still took care of them at their age.
On Friday night, I had a chance to say a few things to Tim, things that Dean and I had often talked about - I told him how much we admired him, how we respected him, how Dean and I treated him as one of our own - and that we were so proud of him, and that if our kids ended up like him that we would be truly blessed!
Of the many emails and phone calls that we received, one was from Samantha Cools, World Champion who had spent time in Airdrie and Crabtree with Tim. She would like me to forward her blessings to the DaSilvas and asked me to tell you that she will be racing the Worlds for Timmy.
Dean, myself and our boys mean every word I have said. He was Kyle’s hero – he was Brady’s buddy and he was our friend. In the years we have known Tim he had become a man before our eyes – Dean and I loved him like a son, respected him as a rider, and admired him as a man.
God Bless you Tim, your time with us made our lives so much brighter and fuller – thank you for that – God speed. We love you buddy.
sorry 2006, not 1996 -
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